Over the past year I have struggled with balancing the many demands on my time. Between more injuries in one year than I have experienced in ten years, conflicting obligations, the demands on my time have often pulled me away from my passion, writing and photography. Believe it or not I have stories that have been started as much as 8 months ago and photos taken over 6 months ago that are still in the queue to finish.
This past week has been an even bigger challenge both in trying to balance the demands on my time as well as managing the stress associated with a health scare.
At this point I am still in the manage the stress stage and tomorrow I go in for an ultrasound which will hopefully show that there is nothing serious to be concerned about. But with so many people, both ones I know personally and those we hear about in the news, dealing with one form of cancer or another it is hard not to jump to the extreme conclusions and end up in a full on panic. (Especially when one is a Virgo and used to preparing for the worst.)
This is probably the first time in my life I have made such a concerted effort to remain focused on the one thing I am in control of until the ultrasound and follow-up visits occur. Taking the antibiotics that were prescribed on a very precise schedule. I am probably being overly anal about taking them at exactly 12 hour intervals, but when it is the only thing within my control it is the only way I can feel in control of the situation.
Why am I writing any of this for the world to be able to read? Many reasons ranging from yet another step in my stress management to a wakeup call for all of us that just take our health for granted. I was guilty of this, and in many ways still am. This week I know I have made many promises to myself, and hopefully I will keep them once this scare is over. But the reality of things is simply this, there are many exams, tests etc that we should all be doing on a regular basis to stay on top of what is going on with our bodies. Many illnesses can be better dealt with if detected early.
Though I am proud of myself for not procrastinating on calling the doctor’s office, at this point I am still in huge hopes that it will turn out to be nothing. But at least if it is something I didn’t delay once noticing it so can hope it is early enough to be dealt with. What I have been bad about, and I know many of us are, is those pesky tests and exams that should be performed on a regular basis to ensure things are caught EARLY.
Word of advice, don’t ignore those! I bet I would be much less stressed right now if I were current on those. (Well at least I think I would be)
I have been very fortunate in my friends these past few days. The few that know what is going on have been my support system, keeping me sane and reminding me not to think the worst. Others have offered to be there if I need to talk but respecting also that I just might not be up to talking about things at the moment. I love them as much as those that I have been talking with as it is a good friend that knows how to offer support without pushing for information. Honestly I am at times surprised in the friends I have that are such true friends as I never consider myself one that has many friends. I may have acquaintances, but friends, that is something special and not a term to be tossed about lightly.
It may seem that I rambled a bit here but it is all connected in that this health scare has made me refocus my energies at least for the time being on taking care of myself. It is hard to write a review, or promote a book when you are so focused on just breathing and staying calm. I promise to get back to business soon.
[promise I will update once I know the outcome of the ultrasound and followup visits]
